Once a fortnight or so, I get asked: if money were no object, what car would you own? And every time, I give the same answer: I have no idea. 

But just recently, I’ve had to change my tune, and speaking of tunes, if I can borrow (and mangle) the lyrics from the Christopher Cross song Arthur’s Theme – “Once in your life you find it, the car that turns your heart around, the next thing you know your driving, down the road…

The car I’d likely be driving down the road would be the Mercedes Benz GLS 400D, and yes, it’s well worth singing about. 

This is the largest SUV Mercedes-Benz produces (bespoke models excluded) and it is truly awesome in every respect, but especially in its physical dimensions.

The GLS400D stands 1838mm high, 2157mm wide (mirrors included) and 5207mm long with a 3125mm wheelbase. 

It weighs close on two and a half tonnes, rides on planet-turning 23-inch wheels in this example, has an immense 700Nm of torque  (and  243kW of power) from a three-litre, six cylinder turbo diesel, mated to a nine-speed G-Tronic automatic transmission.

The GLS seats seven and has every safety device a contemporary vehicle can have. Oh, and it has MBUX, Mercedes-Benz User Experience, which has more tricks up its sleeve than David Copperfield. 

The MBUX system uses a combination of touchpads on the steering wheel, centre console command tablet, touchscreen with two finger pinch control or voice command – intelligent voice command quite unlike anything heard before. 

With a preface command of “Hi Mercedes” after which she will respond politely, you can simply say “I’m cold” and she will adjust the cabin temperature. “Mercedes” can handle a remarkable number of commands because she is connected to the internet much like Siri or Alexa. 

If ever a car could be considered to be connected, a Mercedes-Benz with MBUX is probably it. 

In fact, MBUX could occupy an entire vehicle review – it will learn with its owner and serve as a personal valet – remembering frequent drive routes, diary schedules and regular appointments – spend an hour with Mercedes and she will seriously blow your mind with her capabilities.

MBUX is pure genius and so easy to use, you do have to make sure the M word is not spoken unless you want Mercedes to interrupt you, but other than that, this is 22nd century connectivity and it is quite simply, brilliant. 

And that about says it all… no, actually it just tells you the bare minimum. There is so much more to the GLS SUV. 

Things like the ride quality. Given the prodigious size of the vehicle – it is a full-sized seven seater remember, so one could expect it to handle/drive as a bus might – a luxury bus true, but a bus nonetheless. 

The standing start acceleration is that of a family sedan, with the six cylinder diesel – complete with auto stop system – providing a take-off that is as smooth as rolling on liquid chocolate, accompanied by a distant delicate sound of thunder. 

Mercedes-Benz NZ has opted to only bring in the diesel powered GLS and it’s a fabulous choice, since the engine gives torque-rich performance with remarkable – and achievable – 7.7 litres per 100 claimed economy. But it does it so with a silent effortlessness, unless you want to be a little playful, and the auto stop is astonishingly quiet on reactivation. 

A major attraction of the GLS is found in the rear cabin and its luxuriously appointed second and third row seats, something the owner typically doesn’t concern themselves with. 

The most important seats in the house, of course, are the ones with the windshield in front of it, and these are heated, cooled, electrically adjusted with memory function and oh yes, almost forgot, hot stone massage simulation.   

In this instance however, the second and third row accommodations are, well, on a par with the front-end accommodations anyway, offering unprecedented amounts of comfort, electrical adjustability and infotainment essentials along with an often overlooked consideration for rear seat occupants, space. Space for occupants and surprisingly enough, luggage.

For all the prodigious size of the GLS – and we can’t emphasise the majesty of this SUV enough – it steers with almost pinpoint accuracy in inner city environs and will dominate lanes on the open road. 

Ours was not equipped with the off-road package but given the five-star excellence in everything else found aboard the GLS400 D, we’d be putting good money on its go anywhere you want to go ability. 

So, money no object, what car would I choose? Well, it would be hard to walk away from the S-Class of the SUV market.